The Complete Guide to: Autistic Meltdowns & Shutdowns—Part 2
woman face covered in paint; autistic meltdown
Welcome back! This is part 2 of The Complete Guide to: Autistic Meltdowns & Shutdowns. Previously, we:
defined autistic meltdowns and shutdowns
differentiated the differences between the two
I provided personal examples of what they could look like.
Today, we’re going to talk about specific examples of preventative measures*, management, and after-care. I will break these down into 3 sections: tips for autistic adults, tips for loved ones, and tips on self-care for caregivers.
*Caveat: There is no 100% guaranteed method of eliminating autistic meltdowns and shutdowns (and if anyone tries to sell you services or gives you advice that they can ‘cure’ you, RUN!). Meltdowns and shutdowns make up the autistic experience. It comes with the territory. However, with the support of tools, resources, and education we can learn how to manage our triggers [experiences, events, or interactions that elicit a response; i.e., meltdowns & shutdowns]. When we are aware of our triggers we can plan how we interact with the world, become aware of when we are having a meltdown/shutdown, and can reduce the guilt/shame that results afterwards.
For Autistic Adults:
Tips to follow during, after, or before a meltdown or shutdown:
Remove Yourself (If possible): Find a quiet space that lessens the impact of overstimulation.
Track Triggers: Use journaling or apps to help you recognize patterns of stress and overwhelm (i.e. sensory overwhelm, emotional stress, fatigue, etc…). For a week, in your journal write down every moment you had an autistic meltdown/shutdown in that week. Write down:
Where the event happened
What was going on (your surroundings)
How you reacted (symptoms; crying, freezing, etc…)
How and when you able to calm yourself down (or not)
Journal Prompt Example:
Location: Grocery store at 3pm, Needed to buy groceries
Surroundings: fluorescent lights, crowded (lots of people), loud noises (people talking)
Reaction: started to cry (overstimulated), needed to get out of store immediately
How Did I Calm Down: Ran out off store without buying groceries, cried in car, calmed down after 10 minutes of crying
Tracking your meltdowns and shutdowns will help you piece together what causes your triggers and can help you in the future plan to minimize them. Using the example above, from my journal prompt, I can see that the fluorescent lights and crowd are a trigger for my autistic meltdowns. Maybe, in the future I can plan to go to the store during off hours or wear headphones and glasses to reduce overstimulation.
Create a Calm-Down Plan. A Calm-Down Plan can be used when you notice you are about to be triggered or after the meltdown/shutdown occurs. A Calm-Down Plan can look like:
Use your calm kit in your car or backpack: includes fidget toys, headphones, favorite plushy or blanket, and other things that you like
Retreat to a quiet place
Stim
Text or call or trusted friend
Practice Emotional Regulation Skills. Emotional regulation is the ability to understand, manage, and regulate your emotions. In building emotional regulation you can learn how to manage and even reduce autistic meltdowns/shutdowns. Here are a few emotional regulation exercises (also called mindfulness):
breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 5, and release for 6 (repeat)
Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
Protect Yourself. Sometimes in a moment of intense distress, we might stim in ways that cause self-injury (hitting yourself, your head, a wall, and other forms of self-harm). Try to replace those stims with less harmful ones (i.e. clap your hands, hit something soft like a pillow instead of a wall).
For Support System:
If you are supporting a loved one or a provider, here are some tips to support someone dealing with an autistic meltdown or shutdown.
Before a Meltdown or Shutdown: Prevention & Awareness
Identify Triggers: Keep a journal or use apps to track sensory/environmental/emotional triggers.
Create Predictability: Use visual schedules or routines to minimize surprises.
Build a Calm Kit: Include sensory tools (fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, weighted items), comfort objects, or preferred activities.
Teach Regulation Skills: Practice breathing exercises, emotion identification, or safe words when calm.
During a Meltdown or Shutdown: Support Intervention
Stay Calm and Non-Reactive: Your calm presence helps de-escalate. Speak softly and use minimal language.
Create a Safe Space: Remove the person (or others) from the overwhelming environment if possible. Dim lights, reduce noise.
Avoid Touch Unless Asked: Many autistic individuals are hypersensitive to touch during meltdowns.
Offer Reassurance Without Demands: "You’re safe. I’m here when you need me." Avoid questions or instructions unless necessary.
After a Meltdown or Shutdown: Post-Recovery
Allow Recovery Time: Recovery can take minutes to hours. Don’t rush.
Debrief When Ready: Discuss what happened, what helped, and how future meltdowns/shutdowns might be prevented.
Adjust Environment/Expectations: Modify routines or reduce triggers if possible.
Coping Strategies for Caregivers:
The emotional effect of supporting others can be overwhelming. You have to take care of yourself, as well. Your care is as important (and comes first). Here are some coping strategies for caretakers:
Practice Self-Care: Your emotional regulation impacts how effectively you can support someone in a meltdown or shutdown.
Educate Yourself Continuously: Stay informed about sensory needs, neurodiversity, and trauma-informed support.
Seek Support: Connect with therapists or support groups that understand autism.
Download a Free Calm Kit PDF:
Create your own Calm Kit to navigate, manage, and understand autistic meltdowns and shutdowns.
The NeruoDiverse Experience Lab is an organization that provides support for neurodivergent adults, parents, and organizations. For more information:
